6 STEPS TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

The simple step to making new friends.

                  These Steps would make you more like-able by Friends.

1. Introduce yourself to others at every opportunities_at parties, meetings, airplanes, at work, everywhere.

2. Be sure the other person gets your name straight

3. Be sure you can pronounce the other person's name sthe way he pronounces it.

4, write down the other's person name, and make sure it is correctly spelled, people usually feel happy when theoir names is correctly spelled and pronounced.

5. Drop a personal note or make a phone call to the new friends you feel you want to know better. this is an important point. Most  successful people follow through on new friends with a letter or phone call.

6. Last but not the least, say pleasant things to strangers. it warms you up and gets you ready for the tak ahead.

Putting thses six principles into work make you think right about people. To be sure, it is not the way average people thinks. Mr Average never takes the initiatives in making introduction. he waits for the other person to introduce himself first. take the initiatives. be like the successful. go out of way to meet people. and don't be timid. don't be afraid to be unsual. Find out who the other person is, and be sure he knows who you are.

Recently an associate and i were retained to do a preliminary screening of an appilcant for an industrial sales job. We found the applicant, whom we'II call Ted, to have some good qualification. He was exceptionally intelligent, made a fine appearance, and seemed to have a lot of ambition.

But we found something that forced us to disqualify him, at least temporarily. Ted's  big limitation was this: he expected perfection in other person. Ted was annoyed by many little things, like mistakes in grammar, people who were messy wit cigarettes, people who had bad taste in clothes and so on.

Ted was suprised to learn this about himself. But he was eager to gt into higher paying work, and he was asked whether there was anythng we could tell him to help overcome his weakness. We made three suggestion.

1. Recognise the fact that no one is perfect : Some people are more neatly perfect than others, but no man is absolutely perfect. the most human quality about human beings is that they make mistakes, all kind of them.


2. Recognise that the fellow have the right to be different : Never pay God about anything. never dislike people because their habit are different from your own. you dont have to approve of what another fellow does, but you must not dislik him for doing it.

3. Don't be a Reformer : Put a little more. '' live and let live'' into your philosophy. Most people intensely dislike being told  ''You are wrong.'' You have the right to your opinion, but sometimes it's better to keep it to yourself.

Ted conscientiously applied these suggestion. A few months later he had a fresh outlook. he now accepts people for what they are, neither 100 percent good nor 100 percent bad.

''Besides," he says, " the things that used to annoy the heck out of me i now find amusing. it finally dawned on me what a dull world this would be if people were all alike and everybody was perfect.''

Note his simple but key fact : No person is all good and no person is completely bad as well. the perfect person is not into existence.

Now, if we let our thinking go uncontrolled, we can find much to dislike in almost everyone. by the same token, if we manage our thinking properely, if we think right toward people, we can find many qualities to like and admire in the same person.

View it this way. Your mind is a mental broadcasting station. This broadcasting systems transmits messages to you on two equally powerful channels : Channel P (Positive) amd Channel N (Negative)

Let's see how your broadcasting works. suppose that today your busines superior called you into his office and reviewed your work with you. He complimented you on your work, but he also made some specific suggestion on how you can do better. Tonight it's only natural for you to recall the incident and d some thinking about it.

If you tune in Channel N, The announcer will be saying something like this : ''Watch out! your superior is out to get you. He's is a crab. You don't need any of his advice. To heck with it. Remember what Joe told you about your superior? He was right. your superior wants to grind you down like he did Joe. Resist him. Next time he calls you in, fight back. better still, don't wait. Tommorow go in and ask him just what he really meant by criticism..."

But tune in Channel P, and the announcer will say something alnog these lines: "You know, Mr Jacob is a pretty good fellow. Those suggestion he made to me seems pretty sound. if i put them to use, I can probably do a better job and position myself for an increase. The old boy did me a favour. Tommorow I'll go in nd thank him for his constructive help. Bill was right: my superior is a good man to work with..."

  In specific case, if you listen to Channel N, you are you are almost certain to make some bad, perhaps fatal. mistakes in your relation with your superior. But if you are tuned to Channel P, You are definitely certain to benefit from your superior's suggestions and at the same time draw yourself closer to him. He will appreciate that visit. Try it and see.